The story of my pastel green raincoat.

The other day I was doing a bit of spring cleaning, and I came across my old raincoat. My mum bought it for me seven or eight years ago. I wore it all through high school. When I was in high school, I was very shy and awkward, and had a bad temper on top of all that. As you can imagine, fitting in didn’t come naturally to me. No matter who I spent time with, I felt as an odd one out. When I got this raincoat I felt so grown up. When I put it on, all of a sudden I had confidence. It felt like wearing a cape, I became a superhero I needed myself to be.

So I asked myself, should I throw my old raincoat out? I haven’t worn it in a long time. It had a lot of stains, buttons were missing, and it was torn in many places. It was very worn out. I put it on, and that old feeling of wearing a cape came back. Power I got from wearing it all those years ago, I had that power again. I felt invincible. And then all the memories I made in it came flooding. I fell in love for the very first time wearing it. I went on my very first date in it. I had my heart broken for the very first time. I had the most perfect day. I made my best friend. I conquered places from Istanbul to Rome. I lit my first cigarette. All of these things happened in this raincoat. This old, pastel green raincoat. How can I throw it away?

I cleaned it up. Washed it, stitched it. And put it on again. I knew, this raincoat has more miles to cover. More memories to make. Just because something is worn out and old, doesn’t mean it has expired. Everything that has shaped me as a person happened in this raincoat, this piece of clothing which wouldn’t mean much to someone else. I am a sentimentalist, but this had nothing to do with it. My whole story is written all over this raincoat, but somehow it still isn’t done. Maybe because I am not done growing up and I still have so much to do with my life. And this raincoat wants to write that story with me, wants to have it imprinted on itself.

I guess, it’s the same with people in your life. There are those people who went through important things with you, who were there while you were growing up and figuring yourself out. But they are not around anymore. Maybe you pushed them away, maybe you drifted apart. They were there through the bad stuff. Seek them out now. Maybe like my old raincoat, you’re still not done making memories with them. There is no better time of starting something old anew than spring.

It is never too late to fix and stitch back up something you were once fond of. Don’t throw away something or someone just because you’re not ready or you’re broken or they deserve better. If there is a tiny bit of you telling you that you’re not done making memories with this person, then you’re not. Don’t fight it, rather embrace it. Learn everything you can. Make amazing memories. Especially if having this person in your life feels like being a superhero. We all need someone who believes in us no matter what. Reach out, you  have nothing to lose. Just because it has many stains and cuts doesn’t mean it’s garbage.

Today I’m feeling pastel green. I’m going to put my superpower raincoat on, and go make memories.


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